Compromises – University

So, I’ve been a little quiet over the past few days; I’ve been trying to figure out accommodation for when I return to university in September… For those of you who don’t know: I went last September… for a… week before the social anxiety became completely overwhelming – I took a leave of absence and gave myself a year to get into a better place. I went to the doctors, I’m having CBT therapy, I’m meditating – I’m doing my best.

Anyway… I applied for a single on-campus-flat, where I could live alone with my own bathroom and kitchen. With my luck, I of course got no such offer, but a ‘washbasin’ room. A room with only a sink (last time I had an en-suite,) in a halls of residence complex. I’m not setting higher standards for myself, I don’t exist on a pedestal, I just simply cannot cope with a situation where the kitchens and bathrooms are shared.And, even if I got to the point where I could, it would be something that would bring no pleasure. I accept that I am – naturally – a pretty solitary person. I like being alone, time by myself; I always have.

Most likely I’ll be looking for off-campus accommodation. I won’t cost any more, only it will be less convenient. But, I can only play the cards that I have. Sure, I’m disappointed, but I NEED this – what are a few compromises, a few challenges to overcome?

 

*I’ll be posting a ‘Tiny Story’ sometime tomorrow. I wanted to get around to it today, but it just isn’t finished quite yet.

-Chris ❤

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6 thoughts on “Compromises – University

  1. I empathise with this: The last times I lived in shared accommodation, especially in university accommodation with people I didn’t know, I didn’t enjoy it. I would rather have everything for myself, and find other socialising contexts, rather than a shared home. I think it’s easier to socialise when you feel like it, by going to society meetings, or befriending people in class etc. When I lived with friends it was better, but I do prefer living on my own, or with my partner. I have been living happily by myself for the past two years. I think that accommodation off-campus, especially if it’s close to campus, is a great idea- it worked for me & I don’t see it as a compromise. : ) I hope it will be the same for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, socialising when we feel like it, I understand that. Otherwise I feel pressured to do…. something. It needs to be something I can tackle at my own pace, otherwise it quickly becomes overwhelming. I do hope the accomodation off-campus won’t be a compromise at all. There’s so many options for my second year also. So we’ll have to see what happens, whilst keeping the anxiety to a minimum! 😀 Thanks for the lovely comment! 🙂 ❤ Hope you're doing well!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad that you realized what you needed to feel comfortable and didn’t force yourself through potentially crippling situations. We’ve no need to question what we feel we need to do to be in a good mental state. As someone who struggles with multiple mental illnesses, I admire your courage. ❤️

    I wish you well at university, hoping you can find something that works for you soon!

    Like

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